Jeff Tweedy: Outwards Expressions of Joy

Jeff Tweedy: I honestly haven't seen the Wilco documentary since I watched it in the theater when it came out. I went to the theater with my wife and I felt like hiding. My ideal audience is a group of people that are better with outward expressions of joy than I am. I only worry about maintaining the personal and intimate connections I have with my family and friends and stay somewhat removed from the notion of fans. That's more of an abstract thing to me. I'm not anti-modern crowd participation. I'm anti-assholes. I'm anti-technological crowd distraction at concerts. My father always told me I had a face for radio.

I try to remember that being a musician doesn't require you to aspire to success on anyone else's terms. About Wilco being named the American Radiohead, I'd feel better if they were being referred to as the "British Wilco." I play guitar every day and I practice by skronking along to Sonny Sharrock's records and try to figure out Elizabeth Cotten's songs. I have a song that my wife and I call your own, as in "oh honey, they are playing our song." That's "Somethin' Good" by Herman's Hermits. I met my wife Susan in 1989 at the Cubby Bear in Chicago. She already had a boyfriend so I just asked for her phone when I finally got her attention. But even then I could sense she was the one. Sources: stateofsound.com and npr.org

There are undeniable similarities between how the brain responds to substance addiction and how the brain responds to falling in love. Both substances of addiction and individuals we are attracted to cause the brain to release dopamine, a neurotransmitter, into a brain region called the nucleus accumbens. Dopamine acting in this region helps us learn to associate cues with rewarding feelings. However, dopamine acts on two different types of receptors, called D1-receptors and D2-receptors, in complex ways. Activation of D2-receptors enhances bonding with a partner; it also promotes the reward value of a substance. Activation of D1-receptors maintain that bonding. 

During this time early on in a romantic relationship or early exposure to an addictive substance, dopamine is primarily acting on D2 receptors, heightening our senses and focusing our attention on the cues of our next encounter… developing our craving, our longing, our drive for the next meeting. When we are in the early obsessive stages of love, every encounter (and especially sexual encounters) cause a pleasurable release of not just dopamine, but also natural opioids. These two brain chemicals work together in the brain to continually strengthen the association of the stimulus (the one you are falling in love with) with intense positive feelings. This will cause you to seek more and more of these interactions, craving them intensely in the times in between. These same chemicals act on the same receptors in the same way during the process of forming an addiction to a substance, causing the person to seek more and more of it.

With time, the brain adapts. Repeated encounters no longer cause the same euphoria they once did, but rather, a sense of calm contentment. The dopamine that is released before and during these encounters is now activating more of the D1-receptors, which result in more agitation and passion. In terms of relationships, it is thought that this transition actually helps maintain a pair bond with one individual, because in this stage you are less driven to seek a competing pair bond and you are more likely to aggressively defend the pair bond you have already established. In terms of substance abuse, this phase is called tolerance. 

During this tolerance phase, lack of exposure to the object of your addiction results in a lack of dopamine and opioid release and an increase in stress hormone release. If we are talking about addiction to a substance, we call this withdrawal. If we are talking about a relationship, we call this separation anxiety or even heartbreak. To avoid these horrible feelings, we often relapse… right back into the arms of our addiction. Love is not listed as a psychological disorder in the DSM-5, nor do we think of it as one. But in a true physiological sense, we may actually be addicted to the ones we love.

“Despite feeling loved being a fundamental human need, there is no consensually agreed upon definition of love and feeling loved,” explained Dr. Eric Sasaki in his postdoctoral research at the University of Toronto. “Together with my co-authors, my first goal was to integrate scholarly and lay conceptualizations of love and key relationship theories to identify core components of feeling loved. These core components of feeling loved include feeling cared for, accepted, valued, and understood.”

The recent study “Feeling Loved as a Strong Link in Relationship Interactions: Partners Who Feel Loved May Buffer Destructive Behavior by Actors Who Feel Unloved”, was authored by Eric Sasaki, Nickola C. Overall, Harry T. Reis, Francesca Righetti, Valerie T. Chang, Rachel S.T. Low, Annette M.E. Henderson, Caitlin S. McRae, Emily J. Cross, Shanuki D. Jayamaha, Michael R. Maniaci, and Camille J. Reid. Source: psycnet.apa.org