Sexual Rejection, Rumors on JFK Jr & Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy, So Fucking What (1994)

Americans are guaranteed the right to ‘pursue happiness’ for themselves. But might they be better off if they pursued happiness for others? In five studies, they compared the two strategies, showing that, ironically, the second pursuit brings more personal happiness than the first. Retrospective study 1 (N = 123) and experimental studies 2 (N = 96) and 3 (N = 141) show that trying to make someone else happy leads to greater subjective well-being than trying to make oneself happy. In all three studies, relatedness need-satisfaction mediated the condition differences. Study 4 (N = 175) extended the findings by showing that trying to make others happy is more personally beneficial than when others try to make us happy. Study 5 (N = 198) found that feeding strangers’ parking meters produced the effect even though the participant did not interact with the targeted other. Source: www.tadfonline.com

While declining a partner’s sexual advances is a normal part of long-term relationships, new research sheds light on the fact that some ways to turn down a partner are less harmful than others. The findings were published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (published March 11, 2021). Given that sexual rejection can be very painful for the receiver and is associated with reduced relationship satisfaction, researchers were motivated to explore whether there are specific ways to turn down a partner that are better received than others. “We were interested in this topic as limited past research had looked at the impact of sexual rejection in relationships, especially in terms of the specific ways that romantic partners reject one another for sex,” said study author James J. Kim of the University of Toronto. “As couples regularly experience sexual conflicts in their relationship, it can be difficult to navigate situations where partners have divergent levels of sexual interest. We wanted to know whether there might be optimal ways that people can decline their partner for sex to help maintain the quality of their sexual relationship.” In two initial studies among samples of sexually active men and women in relationships, Kim and his colleagues identified a list of common sexual rejection behaviors and came up with a 20-item scale they deemed the Sexual Rejection Scale (SRS). “We found four distinct types of behaviors that people use when rejecting their partner for sex, characterized principally by: reassurance, hostility, assertiveness, and deflection,” Kim told PsyPost.

Interestingly, certain behaviors appeared to protect against the harmful effects of rejection. People who perceived their partners to be using reassuring behaviors (i.e., showing care and love when rejecting them) showed greater relationship and sexual satisfaction. Those who perceived hostile behaviors from their partners showed lower relationship and sexual satisfaction. When people experienced rejection that was communicated in a reassuring way, they felt greater perceived responsiveness from their partners, and in turn, greater relationship and sexual satisfaction. “Importantly, we found that conveying reassurance during rejection (letting your partner know you still love them or are attracted to them) helps to buffer against the negative effects of sexual rejection, and that this type of reassurance uniquely predicted higher relationship and sexual satisfaction in couples,” Kim told PsyPost. These findings are in line with Risk Regulation Theory, which posits that feeling accepted and valued by one’s partner offers a feeling of security that dissuades the self-protection response and promotes the goal of seeking connection. “As these situations are highly sensitive and emotionally charged in nature, the current research revealed the importance of demonstrating responsiveness and positive regard when rejecting a partner’s sexual advances,” Kim and his team wrote in their study. “Our study focused on sexual rejection dynamics between partners in established long-term relationships,” Kim added. “In this relationship context, our findings highlight how crucial it is to communicate reassurance when declining a partner’s sexual advances given the sensitive nature of sexual rejection.” -The study, “When Tonight Is Not the Night: Sexual Rejection Behaviors and Satisfaction in Romantic Relationships”, was authored by James J. Kim, Amy Muise, John K. Sakaluk, Natalie O. Rosen, and Emily A. Impett. Source: journals.sagepub.com

British journalist Annette Witheridge was one of the main promoters of the rumor of Carolyn Bessette denying sexy quality time to his hunky husband John F. Kennedy Jr. Witheridge published an article in The New York Post in November 1999, exposing an alleged rocky marriage, although most of her sources were anonymous under the guise of confidentiality. One of these anonymous sources told Witheridge: "John broke down and in the course of many conversations he told me Carolyn had moved out of the marital bed. At that point they weren't having sex, and it was taking a toll on him." But shortly before their fatal plane crash, on July 15, 1999, John and Carolyn went to Lenox Hill Hospital, where a surgeon removed the cast off his ankle and according to a nurse, the two were very affectionate, kissing passionately. Besides, Carolyn had said to Carole Radziwill that they were having sex, her on top due to his painful ankle. Carolyn was very compassionate and protective of her own, which made her irresistible in John Kennedy Jr's eyes. She had a heart of gold and a fantastic sense of humor; and she allegedly dated actor Stephen Dorff in the early 90s.

An iconic rebel type during the 90s, Stephen Dorff played anti-hero Cliff Spab in the grungy film "S.F.W." (So Fucking What?), directed by Jefery Levy (1994). As an anonymous viewer in a review for Amazon submitted: "A FILM WAY AHEAD OF ITS TIME" (July 25, 1999): "Take a look at this film and you will be amazed at how it predicted the future -- from OJ to JFK Jr. Also, how many films have there been since SFW that have dealt with the same themes, but not nearly as well? NBK; Mad City; Truman Show; Ed TV -- SFW is, quite simply, a work of genius -- even more amazing: the book was written by a 17 year old college kid in 1987! The film also deals with the way popular culture (not just the media) takes a person or event, uses it to sell, sell, then discards it, usually destroying it/him. The big cycle of pop culture. Check it out for yourself." Source: amazon.com

One of Dorff's latest roles roles was in the romantic musical drama I'll Find You (2019), being its original title Music, War and Love, directed by Martha Coolidge. Inspired by stories of Polish musicians from the 30-40's, the film's an uncommon love story; romantic, but with the love of music which draws the characters together. A young couple - Robert, a catholic opera singer and Rachel, a Jewish violinist, dream of one day performing together at Carnegie Hall. When they're torn apart by the German invasion of Poland, Robert vows to find Rachel, no matter what. His search takes him on a journey through the heart of Nazi Germany, to a reckoning - that Rachel may be lost to him forever. Stephen Dorff plays General Huber. Source: imdb.com

JFK Jr.’s better half was more than just a trophy wife, insists her friend RoseMarie Terenzio. “She loved making people feel good about themselves. She was so generous and down to earth,” says Terenzio. “That was her mission.” Despite Carolyn Bessette’s rarefied fashion background, she was surprisingly grounded in her approach to style, Terenzio told The Post. She never attended fashion shows after she left her job at Calvin Klein, and she regularly wore many of the same everyday basics—her go-to casual separates were Levi’s jeans and T-shirts from the Gap and Petit Bateau. Her closet was neat but not a walk-in. And unlike many of today’s parasitic celebrities, she never accepted freebies to pad her enviable wardrobe. “She always said, ‘I have to pay for it and if not, unfortunately, I have to send it back,” says Terenzio. Bessette also was generous with her friends, lending them clothes or giving them away. She even made over Terenzio with a shopping trip to Barneys and expensive highlights — a moment that is documented in her best-selling book, “Fairy Tale Interrupted”: “I get e-mails from women telling me their favorite story in the book was the shopping trip that Carolyn took me on. It was a fantasy, a real Cinderella story,” Terenzio says. “She wanted my career to take off.” But Terenzio admits she became the envy of George magazine staffers after Bessette took her under her wing. “People in the office were jealous. They’d say, ‘Oh, she’s trying to look like Carolyn.’ And who wouldn’t want to look like her?” Source: www.newsweek.com