John F. Kennedy Jr.'s legacy

Had President John F. Kennedy's son lived, friend and historian Steven M. Gillon believes John would have made it to the White House just like his dad. "John would have been president of the United States and I think the tone of our politics would have been completely different," says Gillon, a professor of American history at the University of Oklahoma whose biography The Life of John F. Kennedy Jr: America's Reluctant Prince, is now out in paperback. "John would be a force for healing and bringing people together. John thought he could inspire people — so I think about it often, how much better off our country would have been had John not made the foolish decision to take his plane up on the hot humid July evening," Gillon says. He and John met when Gillon was John's teaching assistant at Brown University, and the two struck up a friendship lasting more than 20 years. “He said he was two people,” Gillon remembers John telling him once. “He said he played the role of John Fitzgerald Kennedy Jr., the son of the president. But at his core, he was just John.”

"John spent his whole life trying to figure out who he was and what his relationship was going to be to his father's legacy and for most of his life, he ran away from it," Gillon says. "And he ran away from it, because he wanted to find out who he really was, separate from the unique burden of his family." Gillon continues: "The other layer to the tragedy is that, by 1999, he figured out who he is. And what he discovered is yes, he wants to go into politics. He wants to be his father's son. But he dies just at the moment when he discovers who he is. The one thing John will always share with his father is this sense of what might have been." From the moment in 1963 when young John saluted his father's casket, "all the unfulfilled hopes and expectations transferred to him," says Gillon. 

But John wrestled with those expectations for many years. "At first he needed to find himself," Gillon says. "At first, he ran from his father's legacy and he ended up running in circles. At the end of his life, he wanted to embrace his father's legacy." Gillon recalls that "John said, 'What people need is hope, realistic hope and they need to know that tomorrow is going to be better than today.' That's what his dad did as well since Franklin D. Roosevelt, and John understood that." Gillon adds, "John had the best instincts of anyone I ever met. He could read a person, read a room — the instincts you have to have as a politician. You cannot discount his impact on people, what happened when he walked into a room," says Gillon. "John inspired memories. For an older generation, he represented the unfulfilled possibilities of his father. For a younger generation, he represented a new style of leadership. I don't think you can discount the emotional connection that John had with the American public. He understood that power. For most of his life, he tried to avoid it but if it came to the point where he was running for office, he knew how to use it."

In his biography of John, Gillon recounts a haunting comment John once made to one of his closest friends, Robert Littell: "They were watching the inauguration of Bill Clinton and he said 'I want to go home.' For him, going home was the White House. And by 1999, he's actively talking to people, finding the opening — what office he's going to run for and actively strategizing how he's going to make his next steps into politics." Indeed, friends say that before his death John had begun exploring the idea of running for New York governor. "The John who would have been elected president would have been different than the John that founded George magazine," says Gillon. "I'm perfectly aware of his limitations," Gillon adds. "John wasn't ready at the age of 38 to be president, and he wouldn't have been at 42, the age his father was elected. But he would have been, if he had continued the same process that he had shown over the past 15 years of his life." The world will never know what would have been. "With John's death came the end of Camelot," says Gillon, referring to the halo of his father's approximately 1,000 days in the White House, before the 1963 Kennedy assassination.

"A lot of the family mystique revolved around his father, the emotional connection that the public had to John's father," Gillon says. "John was his father's son. John was the only one who could have carried his family legacy into the future. All the expectations for that were placed on him. John's father is frozen in time," says Gillon, "and now John is too. We can't see how he would have evolved." Or what might have been, "John had the potential to unite a nation that has become so divided," his friend says. "It would have been a huge undertaking and a reasonable person would say no one person could have done that, even someone whose name was John F. Kennedy Jr. But those of us who knew him think that he could have made a big difference." Pollster Daniel Yankelovich noted that trust in government declined from 80 percent in the late 1950s to about 33 percent in 1976. More than 80 percent of the public expressed distrust in politicians, 61 percent believed something was morally wrong with the country, and nearly 75 percent felt that they had no impact on Washington. Source: people.com

John F. Kennedy Jr.'s marriage to Carolyn Bessette being in turmoil before his plane crashed off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard was one of British journalist Annette Witheridge's scoops, which was loosely informed by mostly anonymous sources and published as a column in The New York Post in November 1999: The report is based on interviews with members of Kennedy's close-knit circle of friends and associates of Carolyn, including two people who have signed sworn affidavits — John F. Kennedy Jr.'s marriage to Carolyn Bessette suffered from cyclical arguments, reciprocal jealousy, and drugs. Even so, John Kennedy Jr. didn't seem to suspect that a distraught Carolyn had once called a divorce lawyer, and that private investigators were trailing him around the clock. "When Carolyn first moved into John's Tribeca apartment, he was convinced she would be able to cope with the pressures of his fame. And in the early days Carolyn seemed to be coping," said a friend close to the couple. "But after their marriage, she changed. Everything fell apart in the months following the honeymoon. Suddenly she was Mrs. John F. Kennedy Jr. and not just the lively girlfriend, and she mostly reacted like a frightened deer caught in car headlights." No one will ever know exactly what happened on that fateful July flight, but insiders say their trip to Rory Kennedy's wedding was a clear indicator of a possible reconciliation.

One of John's (anonymous) friends reckons: "John was terribly upset about his marriage. He wasn't one to talk about his problems, but he was worried when Carolyn stormed out of a joint therapy session in July, 1999. He truly loved her, and when they married, he honestly believed it would be forever. But Carolyn was convinced he was sleeping with another woman." Carolyn initially had approached high-profile divorce lawyer Raoul Felder. Felder declined to comment. According to a friend of Carolyn, the former Calvin Klein publicist then had turned to lawyer Bob Cohen in February, 1999. The friend said Cohen hired private detectives to trail John Kennedy's steps. Cohen said the private eyes came up empty. "On one occasion - believe it or not, it was Valentine's Day, she even manufactured a row with John and stormed out of a restaurant. She knew the private detective was watching and, in her paranoid state, believed that if she left, John would go off with some other woman. He ended up eating his appetizer alone, trying to put on a brave face. He then went to another bar where he met a male friend. And at 1:45 a.m. he looked at his watch and went home alone in a taxi. Carolyn was befuddled when she discovered her ruse hadn't worked. In that regard, John Jr was the anti-JFK." 

Another friend, who had known the normally stoic Kennedy for more than a decade, said he was stunned by the admission of turmoil. "John sort of threw his head back and tried to discreetly wipe the tears from his eyes. He was terribly embarrassed." Kennedy then began to pour his heart out, relating how upset he was. "John broke down and in the course of many conversations over several weeks he told me Carolyn had moved out of the marital bed. At that point they weren't having sex, and it was taking a toll on him because he was so hooked," said the friend. "It's staggering to think that he put up with it. He could have had his pick of beautiful women but he chose to remain true to Carolyn. I was stunned when he told me, 'She says she wants children but she's moved into the spare room. I tried joking with her, saying you have to make babies, they aren't delivered by the stork." Kennedy finally persuaded Carolyn to join him in marriage counseling, but their weekly sessions often ended in screaming matches and sulking fits. Carolyn's sister Lauren called to John's office at George and asked to meet with him. They spent two hours closeted in his office at George magazine discussing the state of the marriage. "Lauren was acting as mediator. Carolyn had big psychological problems, as well as a cocaine habit and a dependency on anti-depressants, that made her paranoid."

At that point, both John and Carolyn were taking anti-depressants. Eventually Lauren offered to accompany them to Martha's Vineyard. She said she would stay there while John and Carolyn continued on to Rory's wedding at the Kennedy compound in Hyannis Port. John, who was sick of making excuses about Carolyn's constant absences to his cousins, eventually agreed." Kennedy's friend said he decided to speak out because "John would have wanted me to." This friend claims he had known Kennedy through his high-profile romances with actresses Daryl Hannah and Molly Ringwald. "John almost married Daryl. But she was a very needy sort of person. She used baby talk to speak to John and constantly returned to Jackson Browne. Daryl refused to be exclusive with John even when he indicated his desire to be. He was faithful in his early relationships (Meg Azzoni in the late 1970s, Christina Haag and Sally Munroe in the 1980s). And, of course, John's mother, Jackie, didn't approve of Daryl because she was a Hollywood star." John and Carolyn dated exclusively shortly after his breakup with Hannah. Robert Littell, probably John's best friend, recounted: "John fell in love with Carolyn because she really was a very kind, sweet woman beneath her party girl façade and I think John developed a saviour complex with her. There's no doubt in my mind that Carolyn deeply loved John, too. They were a volatile couple, but after a row, they apologized to each other and enjoyed the making up." 

Carolyn's associates call it a story of an insecure woman who thought her Prince Charming would solve her emotional problems. On his part, John looked for an accomodating partner for his future political prospects. One friend of John says: John liked to relax over a beer in the evening. Carolyn was becoming too frightened to leave the apartment and he was hanging out in bars with his buddies until the early hours of the morning. Carolyn felt he was immature - I was there once when he begged her to be more supportive like other wives - and she screamed back at him: 'How can I support someone who acts like he is 15.' John looked hurt and dejected. But she just turned on her heels and stormed out. When John finally told me what was happening I was stunned. Carolyn gave up her job just before the marriage but afterwards she became paranoid and anxious. Before she met John she was known somehow as a party girl, climbing within the fashion set. But she continued with her cocaine habit and John didn't approve. John hated her doing cocaine and often complained she was high. Once, when we were alone, John told me: 'The only thing worse than her being high is her not being high. Carolyn in a downer phase is not a pretty picture. I'm worried about how she'd react if I tried to stop her.'

The sexual thing was the most puzzling. In her dreams Carolyn wanted John only to herself, she didn't want him going to work. She wanted them to live in Connecticut in a house with a brood of children. But then she refused to have sex with John. I was with him on many occasions when I saw he had the opportunity to stray. Many beautiful women would throw themselves at him but he simply wasn't interested. His days of playing the field were long over. John also wanted to address his political plans. John was seriously planning to run for the Senate in the year 2000. He had always secretly planned to follow in his father's footsteps, and he intended to begin as the senator for New York. His uncle Teddy Kennedy, whom he considered to be his surrogate dad, was delighted.

John had formed a committee in March to weigh the pros and cons. He also toyed with running later in 2004," the friend remarks. "Carolyn's attitude worried him a lot. She made it clear she didn't want him to run and John's political plans were the cause of some of his biggest arguments with Carolyn." Kennedy's friend admitted the whole drama caused much grief for the couple and they were in the process of healing their marriage. "It breaks my heart to think how much they suffered in their final months."

Daryl Hannah: "Well, one thing that I experienced while I was dating John Kennedy Jr. was getting to witness the family tradition in the Kennedy clan, of really instilling the responsibility to be of service, to choose something at an early age that they're interested in and engaged in, that they champion to that as a part of their life. That everybody in the family was expected to take on some form of social service. And I think that's something that our culture has sort of forgotten, that it's a big element of us feeling complete and whole. It's being a part of a community and feeling like you're giving back that actually brings you so much more joy and happiness than what you put out. It keeps a person healthy and happy, it keeps a person connected to the world. I really respect that's something that they instill in every member of their family. It was quite a beautiful thing to see."

"The world saw them as the American prince and princess," says Matt Berman, the creative director of George magazine, "but they were the most real and engaging people I've ever known. John's favorite band was The Rolling Stones. He would listen to You Can't Always Get What You Want on a loop. His favorite film was Fincher's The Game." "John and Carolyn were magic together," says their mutual friend Ariel Paredes. "She had an earthiness and a gentle fierceness. The same attributes as John." In 2000, Lynn Tesoro, a fashion assistant who had worked with Carolyn Bessette at Calvin Klein, recalled that she saw Carolyn the Wednesday within the week before her death and thought she looked quite happy and very much in love. John Perry Barlow, John Jr.'s close friend, slammed Edward Klein's sensationalist book "The Kennedy Curse" (2003) in the August issue of Vanity Fair magazine. John Perry Barlow: "I think Sybil Hill is a fraud and she was not John's type at all. No offense, but she is not an attractive woman and she made up a story to promote her husband's paintings. Steven Gillon disregarded Sybil's allegations of a romance with John as unreliable. I think John wouldn’t have ever married a famous woman as Daryl Hannah, since Daryl had her own name and fame, and John always wanted her wife had to rely on him, maybe a male ego thing.

Hence why he had some flings with famous women but pursued relationships with more regular women. If what Michael Bergin wrote about Carolyn miscarrying John's baby is true, he shouldn't have mentioned it in the first place. These are not manners of a gentleman to be talking about such a sensible subject. And it's telling all the sources in Ed Klein's book, all of them with scurrilous information attached to them -- are unnamed. I mean, I could write a book trying to prove that Richard Nixon had been a child molester with unnamed sources and it would be just as valid as Klein's. I think that probably the author's motivation is economic. But I think that there are other organizations, notably Fox or Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation, who have a political motivation, which is to slime anybody who is on the leftist spectrum to bring them down. For example, a passage from The Kennedy Curse pulls a quote from John as though he had said it ominously. "I want to have children, but when I raise the subject, Carolyn refuses to have sex with me." Well, this is actually a quote of some unnamed friend who said this to someone else, supposedly. It's not a quote from John Kennedy. It may not even be a quote from the unnamed friend. And it's cited by a third party as though it were the real deal. The sourcing is thin, to say the least."

"True, John himself said he loved having drama in a relationship to keep things 'spicy,' but he was not an addict to drama to the degree that Ed Klein implies. John's sister Caroline was indifferent to Carolyn's personality, but once Carolyn got on Caroline's nerves when she went with John to the beach and Carolyn spent the entire time sitting under an umbrella to preserve her pale complexion. John enjoyed meeting regular people far more than he liked palling around with the rich and famous. However, his sister Caroline is a Democrat, but actually not a democrat. John lived in Tribeca when Tribeca was still counterculture; whereas Caroline lived on Park Avenue. John rode the subway frequently and happily. Instead, Caroline avoided it. John started a magazine whose intention was to popularize politics. Caroline was about the only one of John’s relatives who didn’t appear in his magazine at any point. I could see John having a beer with regular factory workers. Caroline would have looked for some hand sanitizer."

"Ed Klein criticizes Carolyn's shopping sprees, but unless John had married a wealthy woman, any wife of his was going to spend a good chunk of his money. Besides John liked when her wife was pampered on his dime, I think it probably made him feel like a big shot," Barlow concludes. Steven Gillon (author of The Life of John F. Kennedy Jr: America's Reluctant Prince): "Although John and I had an unspoken arrangement that we would not talk about our private lives, he confessed to me once in the spring of 1999, while we were sitting in the steam room at the New York Athletic Club, that he had “blue balls.” I honestly did not know what the expression meant and was afraid to ask a follow-up question that would sound stupid. Only later I realized that he had been denied sex from Carolyn that his balls were figuratively turning blue." Historian Douglas Brinkley wrote in The New York Times: “The news that John F. Kennedy Jr., Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and Lauren Bessette are missing at sea and presumed dead has struck such a crippling blow to my generation. John F. Kennedy Jr. was the moral leader for the next generation of young Americans.” Source: www.vanityfair.com