WEIRDLAND: Steady lover or Extreme lover

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Steady lover or Extreme lover


For you, love is a gentle journey.

Without any great sense of urgency, you are not one for all-night sessions to get to know your partner inside out. Instead, by doing things together and building understanding, your relationships tend to evolve at their own pace. Yours is a slow-burning love.

Your calm love can withstand pressures that would cause others to crumble, from long spells of absence to temporary indiscretions. While you may not seek the highs of wild passion, you are also less likely to be laid low by romantic tumult. With fewer campaigns to fight and wounds to heal, your relationships are more often characterised by comfort and contentment. You are best matched with like-minded people with whom to share routine and companionship.

Without the need for emotionally exhausting love, you may choose to avoid the “passionate” and “extreme” lovers. What you see as stable, they may see as dull. Alternatively, you may be the rock they need, and they may provide the crazy passion that you enjoy tasting.

Best match:

Steady and Unconditional

If your partner is a steady lover:

Take it slow. Your relationship will grow naturally over time; it's your mutual interests that will bond you.

Famous steady lover:
Sharing her recipes for meatballs and garlic bread on her website, Gwyneth Paltrow is more a picture of domesticity than a party girl.


For you, love is all-consuming.

As an extreme lover, you tend to find relationships a source of life-affirming passion and soul-destroying heartache. For you, love is like a roller coaster.

You may find it hard to relax and enjoy your relationship, being gripped with the fear of losing your partner and spending hours turning the relationship over in your mind, looking for signs that they don't really love you (and discounting any that show they do). Warmth from them brings relief but no lasting satisfaction. Indeed, you may sometimes feel that your appetite for affection is insatiable. It is.

You may know that your possessiveness is self-defeating but you can't help feeling it - and showing it. Far too in love to play it cool, you can find yourself acting against your better judgment, racked with jealousy and extremes of emotion.

While the “steady lover” type may have the patience to calm your insecurities, they may grow weary of the emotional turmoil that you bring to the relationship.

To find lasting satisfaction you must first find the source of your neediness - a lack of close connections? Discontentment or low self-esteem. Avoid the “playful lover” types. Their detachment will press all the wrong buttons, causing you distress.

Best match:

Unconditional and Passionate

If your partner is an extreme lover:

Give them lots of reassurance and remember that their suspicions and doubts are all about them, not you.

Famous extreme lover:
Kirsten Dunst described ex-boyfriends such as Jake Gyllenhaal as “possessive” men who started to resent the time that she spent with her family".

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