"The most romantic movies are about the subtle gestures, the moments in between intimacy, and Ang Lee’s Brokeback Mountain captures them against a vibrant Alberta landscape. Jake Gyllenhaal and the late Heath Ledger are amazing as ranch hands who fall in love".
Moving on to our favorite category, Best Male Nude Scene, we have to give kudos to Mark Wahlberg as Dirk Diggler in Boogie Nights whose performance answers the age-old question, "Is that a prosthetic penis in your pants or are you just happy to see me?" While we didn't want to cave into the most obvious of sexually exploitative of films, we couldn't gloss over the very memorable scene at the end that reveals all of Diggler's talents. Some may say that size doesn't matter, but in this scene size goes a very, very long way.
This brings us to another in-demand actor whose recent violent outbursts have populated the headlines of publications left and right. The Best Self-Sex Scene goes to Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. This may be an odd choice given the number of films with masturbation scenes, but this scene is so self-involved and over-the-top chauvenistic, you can't help but chuckle. As Bateman engages in sexual acts with two prostitutes, he's so engrossed with his appearance in the mirror that he finds himself more pleasurable than his present company. His calculated poses and constant flexing only add to the "get over yourself" factor.
Of course we can't write about best sex in films and not include Brokeback Mountain, with a lover's tent serenade that's so shockingly believable it easily deserves the title of Best Gay Sex Scene. The late Heath Ledger plays the quiet, introspective Ennis Del Mar who is the object of affection for outspoken Jack Twist (Jake Gyllenhaal). Tension builds as these two handsome leading men are forced to work together over one summer in the wilderness, and it all culminates into a unexpected sexual explosion that's not often seen on the silver screen. Two thumbs up for the cinematography and superb acting in this one as well.
Sex, by nature, can be unintentionally funny, but with Team America: World Police, funny is how the directors aimed to please. The Best Comedic Sex Scene comes from the hilariously creative minds of Trey Parker and Matt Stone and includes a snapshot of scenes between two puppets making love. The irony here is that the puppets have no genitals, though that doesn't seem to stop them from experimenting with wacky positions. The ridiculous dialogue and sound effects in this scene up the comedic ante making this scene very deserving of its title".
(Heather Graham faking her way through grainy limo thrusts in Boogie Nights) are totally perfunctory while filming. With the massive crew surrounding them, the sudden lighting checks, and simple fact that they’ve gotta feign spontaneous heat take after take, we’ve leaned towards taking their word for it. And as it turns out, no matter how big the star or legendary their prowess in the bedroom, even simple kissing scenes with the most gorgeous A-listers around range from “awkward and sweaty” to “slightly icky and sort of wet.”
Harrison Ford, Outed by Helen Mirren: "She considered him 'the nicest, sweetest guy you could want to meet. But he can't kiss - he finds it impossible to kiss on screen.' Then, she added: 'He's probably not very good off screen either. It's not just me - other actresses agree. Whenever we get chatting off screen and we get around to talking, we come to the same conclusion.'"
Jason Segal, Outed by Alyson Hannigan: "Alyson refused to kiss him or do any romantic scenes with him, because he smelled like smoke. He thanks her for forcing him to do that because now he not only smells better, he feels better as well."
Orlando Bloom, Outed by Keira Knightley: "Keira Knightley claims Johnny Depp is a better kisser than Orlando Bloom...When quizzed on who she thought was the best kisser out of the two actors, she told InStyle magazine: 'Johnny Depp certainly wasn't bad.' Despite Orlando's gushing praise for Keira's kissing technique, he did admit he found it 'peculiar.'"
Steve Carell, Outed by Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I just see Steve Carell's lips. 'So the bottom of a cat's paw - the soft supple part underneath - that's what Steve Carell's lips are like. But his tongue is like kitty cat litter. That's the physical experience.'"
Woody Allen, Outed by Helena Bonham Carter: "He tells you up front certain ways of kissing he does not want. No exchange of liquid is permitted. It can be a bit offensive because he makes no effort at all."
Angelina Jolie, Outed by James McAvoy: "I can tell you what it was like to kiss her on a film set: It was awkward, sweaty and not very nice."
Tom Cruise, Outed by Thandie Newton: "Kissing Tom Cruise was slightly icky and sort of wet. I'd really go home at the end of the day actually moaning about how hot it was and how many times we had to do it."
Victoria Beckham, Outed by Corey Haim: "She does this little grr gnaw thing that felt like a girl gnawing on your lip."
Sienna Miller, Outed by James Franco: "The British beauty's toothache made filming a nightmare. Franco admits filming the scene was far from enjoyable and had to be cut short when his co-star complained. He says, 'I think we kissed once in that film and it wasn't at all intense - there was no rolling around or anything. Sienna's molar was giving her pain so she called the dentist!'"
Leonardo DiCaprio, Outed by Virginie Ledoyen: "I think Leonardo is a nice guy. But I don't want him as a lover. There [was] no honest passion. No real sensitivity in our love scenes. In our underwater love scenes all I could think of was not drowning. I can't even remember his kiss."
According to the wonderfully indiscreet estate agent–who reportedly represents the property which is listed for sale at £2,795,000–the owner of the Victorian era house in the natty Knotting Hill area was thrilled when the well paid American actors turned up waving wads of dollar bills shouting, "Gimme, gimme, gimme."
The lower floor has an excessively glossy, almost mirror-like floor that looks reflective enough to expose the naughty bits of skirted ladees and gentlemen. The decently sized dining area is being aesthetically abused by a glass topped table, eight dining room chairs being choked by white slip covers and a little little fixture stuck to the ceiling that is both too small for the room and, rather upsettingly, not located over the center of the table. The dining area is open to the sleek and efficient looking kitchen which features a narrow work island, some shiny white cabinets that match the glimmering floor, and a breakfast area with a barely there round glass table surrounded a set of four Philippe Starck Victoria Ghost Chairs. This all looks rather sexy (if a bit 1970s), but Your Mama would not want to be navigating that part of the house in the dim light of dawn after a long night of gin and tonics with divalicious drag star Lily Savage because we would surely be injured by that transparent arrangement of glass and plastic masquerading as a dinette set.
The private quarters include a full floor master suite which stretches the entire length of the house from front to back and includes a clean lined en suite with beautiful wood accents, and large, lovely and, thankfully, frosted arched window and some sort of fancy square terlit that we're sure cost nearly as much as a Mini Cooper. The top floor is accessed by a claustrophobic's nightmare of a staircase and features a windowless bedroom and en suite that are both, thankfully, ventilated and lit by several skylights.
Back in Tinseltown, Ms. Witherspoon–who is one of the highest paid actresses in Hollywood– and her two children live in a quietly posh guard gated community called Brentwood Circle in, you guessed it, Brentwood, and Mister Brokeback Mountain has long occupied a very private property above Woodrow Wilson Drive in the Hollywood Hills that Your Mama and several of our better connected sources think he leases as opposed to owns.
Scott Pilgrim / Michael Cera.
Ramona Flowers / Mary Elizabeth Winstead.
Kim Pine / Alison Pill.
Wallace Wells / Kieran Culkin.
Stephen Stills / Mark Webber.
