A Common Good: JFK, RFK, JFK Jr.

Scholar Guillaume Budé, the first royal librarian and advisor to King François, wrote a handbook printed posthumously in 1547, which contained the observation that political laws need to be tempered by ‘mixed, ambidextrous men’. Budé was referring to the delicate mixing of different types of law (including civil and ecumenical), in a context of factional divisions and mass conversion to the reformed faith. The idea of a fundamentally mixed person enacting politics–an ‘ambidextrous’ character, balancing ‘Right’ and ‘Left’ centuries before these were political categories–came under intense pressure as religious and social change intensified. Politics was the art of attempting to reconcile the irreconcilable. Then as now, this was considered horrifying as well as hopeful. After thousands of French Protestants were massacred in 1572, poems celebrating the killings dismissed politiques who preferred peaceful coexistence to violent purges. A female member of the UK parliament, Jo Cox–who argued at the Parliament ‘we have far more in common than that which divides us’–was assassinated. Britain had voted to leave the EU. Populations across the world started to elect nationalist ‘strong’ men who exploited anti-politician sentiment. The battle between political monster and ‘holy’ union continues today. “Remember, democracy never lasts long,” John Adams (the 2nd President of USA) wrote in a letter to philosopher John Taylor in 1814: “It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There was never a democracy yet that did not commit suicide.” Source: psyche.co

Bobby Kennedy: "There is no greater need than to educate men and women to point their careers toward public service as the finest and most rewarding type of life. Few men are willing to brave the disapproval of their peers, the censure of their colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change."

“The fact is that the average man’s love of liberty is nine-tenths imaginary, exactly like his love of sense, justice and truth. He is not actually happy when free; he is uncomfortable, a bit alarmed, and intolerably lonely. Liberty is not a thing for the great masses of men. It is the exclusive possession of a small and disreputable minority, like knowledge, courage and honor. It takes a special sort of man to understand and enjoy liberty, and he is usually an outlaw in democratic societies.” —H.L. Mencken (Baltimore Evening Sun, February 12, 1923)

Helen O’Donnell, author of A Common Good: The Friendship of Robert F. Kennedy and Kenneth P. O’Donnell (1998) also worked with Chris Matthews of MSNBC on his 2012 book Jack Kennedy: Elusive Hero. The experience served to further pique her interest in the topic of the Kennedys, Marilyn Monroe, and the Rat Pack. She published more recently The Irish Brotherhood: John F. Kennedy, His Inner Circle, and the Improbable Rise to the Presidency (2015) and Launching Lyndon B. Johnson's Presidency (2018).

After the death of his brother Joe in the war, Bobby Kennedy was again reminded that fortune did not guarantee anyone a future. He would always be hesitant thereafter about plans beyond his control. ”Kathleen’s death, and Joe’s before it, were tastes of tragedy that helped make Bobby particularly understanding of those to whom fortune had been unkind. This characteristic would mark him throughout his life—leading those who knew Bobby to find it difficult to understand the often mentioned charge that he was 'ruthless.' I think that when he came upon people’s deep problems later on,” says Dave Hackett, “it was a natural thing for him to have compassion and some understanding for them. I think what he never had any understanding or compassion for was arrogance, or wealth that was not used properly by the privileged, he had very little compassion for that!” “When Bobby first came into the campaign headquarters, he was very polite, nice, and what I would call very shy,” says William Sutton. “ What struck me was the first thing he said to me: ‘Give me the toughest part of the district. I’ll take it.’ Then I realized that underneath, Bobby wanted East Cambridge because he knew that was Neville’s area and it was going to be a really tough race,” Sutton remembers. Just as he had done with football at Milton and Harvard and with the debates at the Varsity Club, Bobby was naturally drawn to the toughest front in the battle. Rather than being intimidated, he saw it as a natural opportunity to prove himself. His wife Ethel was more forthrightly engaged with people than her husband, balancing his inner shyness. Bobby received from her the kind of love and acceptance he needed, which would revitalize him in times of trouble and difficulty. He trusted her judgment, admired her as a mother, and loved her fiercely. “Bobby was a really terribly shy person, even in 1960,” W. Arthur Garrity, (a federal district court judge in Boston) remembers. “I had known him from the 1952 campaign and my days as a Kennedy assistant in Wellesley, but I was struck by how he was so reserved and a very shy person,” Garrity would recall. Garrity also remembers thinking about Jimmy Hoffa that day, “a very terrible and dangerous man, and yet Bobby who remained so quiet and unassuming had actually whacked him.” 

Jimmy Hoffa had not finished with Bobby and Jack Kennedy yet. Since Bobby had investigated him in 1957 and 1958, he would make things as difficult as he could for both Kennedy brothers. One of Bobby's big victories was in May 1963, when Hoffa was charged with the attempted bribery of a grand juror during his 1962 conspiracy trial in Nashville. Hoffa was convicted on March 4, 1964, and sentenced to eight years in prison. While on bail during his appeal, Hoffa was convicted in a second trial held in Chicago, on July 26, 1964, on one count of conspiracy and three counts for improper use of the Teamsters' pension fund, and sentenced to five years in prison. Despite his shiny charisma, Jack Kennedy also had a certain shyness. As Nixon described in his memoirs, “We both shared one quality which distinguished us from most of our fellow congressmen. Neither of us was comfortable with boisterous displays of superficial camaraderie. John Kennedy was shy, and that sometimes made him appear aloof. But it was a shyness born of an instinct that guarded privacy and concealed emotions. I understood these qualities because I shared them.” 

On the evening of January 21, 1946, Jack Kennedy had climbed the three flights of stairs to the top floor of a three-decker house at 88 Ferrin Street in Charlestown. Completing his speech, Jack struggled through the throng of Gold Star Mothers, all of whom were reminded of their own deceased or lost sons. He responded uncertainly to their grasps and smiles. This was new territory to him, and he was determined to overcome his shyness and reserve. Jack had forged what Dave Powers would later come to call a “magical link” with the people in that room, knowing this young Navy vet was a different kind of politician. Dave Powers would remain associated with Jack Kennedy in a variety of roles until November 22, 1963. I think we have to grow up regards JFK's extra-marital affairs. Besides that one addictive and admittedly wrong marriage vow dishonoring flaw, no President has ever inspired and energized not just America, but the entire free world in the most important areas of democracy based societies like JFK did. 

Bobby knew his brother had a compulsion towards sexual conquest, but he was adamant Jack didn't ever want to hurt Jackie's feelings. John Kennedy was truly moral in his stances on racial injustice and equality, opposing of long time abusive colonial rule, standing up to hard line military leaders who would actually consider nuclear war as an option, economic disparity, unchecked growth and influence of the massive MIC as Eisenhower had warned; and yet he would not back down if North America and our allies were truly threatened by any outside aggressors. How come LBJ's extra marital dalliances (as numerous as JFK's and which produced at least an illegitimate child) are hardly ever mentioned in any mainstream media? Johnson was a crude and sexist Texan bigot with propensity to take corrupt deals. JFK was one of the first true gender-equalitarian statemen, who despite his Catholic upbringing, did not blink an eye when he alluded on-record to the desirable possibility of a female president in the United States. JFK put his life on the line in WWII and always honored his country. Sadly, we cannot say the same of most of his political successors in the White House. —A Common Good: The Friendship of Robert F. Kennedy and Kenneth P. O’Donnell (1998) by Helen O'Donnell

JFK talking about his children Caroline and John in July, 1963: "I hope my children live as good people, that they understand that though they have what many don’t, that does not make them better—but that they can do better, they can help make a difference in this land of freedom in which freedom has not been given to all. My hope is that they’re gracious and sensible in their actions. And if politics is their passion, well, I can’t very well argue with that now can I?”

Jason Beghe, a character actor who starred in the 1988 George A. Romero film Monkey Shines, had attended the Collegiate School, a private preparatory school located in New York City. While there, he became good friends with John F. Kennedy, Jr. and future X-Files star David Duchovny. Kennedy Jr. and Beghe often spent time together outside the Metropolitan Museum of Art and in Central Park, and were often monitored by Kennedy's Secret Service. Beghe would later persuade Duchovny to pursue work in acting. Beghe decided to apply at Pomona College, graduating in Dramatic Arts in 1982. Beghe told a funny anecdote about John Jr. being shy with girls: "He was so aloof with girls. I felt he was different, maybe because his father's exploits had been public domain for a long time, and his mother had such high expectations for his son. I remember this pretty girl who wanted to date John, she constantly called me and asked me to talk with John, and he invariably blushed. She wound up being my first girlfriend. [laughs]"

By the time Jackie died in 1994, John had already been planning to ditch Daryl Hannah for good. He started dating Julie Baker, a fashion model with a slight resemblance to Jackie whom he had dated briefly during one of his separations from Daryl. John had dated Julie from November 1991 until March 1992. Baker also worked in the late 90s as a sales clerk at a Menswear store: Seize Sur Vingt, being John one of the regular customers. But Carolyn Bessette still lingered in his mind. 

And now Carolyn played hard to get. If John did something to upset her—like canceling dinner at the last minute—she would scream at him, “Fuck you! I’m going off with Michael!” Carolyn was considered a difficult woman by some of John's friends. As Laurence Leamer wrote in Sons of Camelot: "John liked difficult women. If they were too nice, he thought they were boring." The Philadelphia Inquirer columnist Laurie C. Merrill identified JFK Jr and Carolyn Bessette together on two occasions in New York: July 18, 1993 and November 14, 1993.

After John had broken up with Daryl Hannah, John and Julie Baker were seen together locked in a kiss on September 4, 1994. A month later, in October 1994, Carolyn Bessette was John's official date at Michael Berman's wedding. Unlike with other girlfriends who faded out of his life, John remained close to Julie Baker long after their romantic relationship ended. Their relationship now rested on mutual trust and respect. “John and I had an easy, uncomplicated friendship,” Baker told Gillon in 2019. “We had a very special bond that throughout the years became stronger. I believe we knew we would always be there for each other.” Their close friendship was no secret to Carolyn. “John and Julie remained friends and were in touch about once a month,” recalled RoseMarie Terenzio. “Their friendship was completely transparent, and Carolyn even invited Julie to one of John’s birthday celebrations at their apartment.” 

Billy Way, a friend of John’s from Andover, had introduced Julie Baker (a catalog model) to John in the late 80s. According to Billy Noonan, Billy Way also had introduced John to Carolyn in November 1992 at the Rex nightclub, although it's more likely both introduced to each other since they didn't share mutual friends by then. Billy Way was friends with Bobby Potter, whose sister Linda Potter happened to be Timmy Shriver’s wife. Timmy Shriver was Eunice Kennedy Shriver's son.  

Both Way and Noonan thought John wasn't really in love with Julie but there was clearly an intimate connection. John also helped Julie to establish her jewelry design catalogue among his social and business contacts. According to Billy Way, Daryl didn't like Julie Baker because she had just a high school diploma, but the Splash star thought of Carolyn Bessette as graceful and charismatic, and conceded that John and Carolyn made a striking couple. For her part, Julie Baker appreciated Carolyn's company but some friends thought she was jealous of her sophistication, and suspected Julie kept on chasing John. Julie Baker showed her ambivalence about Carolyn one night after a drink too many, confessing to Sasha Chermayeff: "For Carolyn, to win over John was just a fantasy in her mind. She's always complaining and John needs a grown-up woman beside him." 

Baker was not the first who believed Carolyn Bessette was stubborn and it was hard for her to face the realities of the press and John's lifestyle. In fact, Carolyn's art teacher Linda Bemis at Juniper Hill Elementary School described her as "rather shy, and prone to daydreaming." On July 15, 1999, John returned to Lenox Hill Hospital, where his surgeon removed the cast that had been molded to his ankle for the previous six weeks and gave him the go-ahead to fly. According to a nurse at Lenox Hill, Carolyn accompanied him, and the two were very affectionate, kissing passionately while seated in a small reception area. This scene revealed again the volatility of their relationship. 

They could be fighting one minute and then unable to keep their hands off each other the next. John emerged from the hospital on crutches and went straight to the George's office on Broadway in midtown Manhattan. He had an important meeting later that afternoon with his new boss at Hachette, Jack Kliger. In May, David Pecker had left Hachette and purchased American Media Company, which owned the National Enquirer and other tabloids—the very ones that bought pictures from the same paparazzi who tortured Carolyn. Hachette replaced him with Kliger, who lacked Pecker’s dramatic flair and had no emotional attachment to George magazine. Kliger was informed that the magazine was losing money and that Hachette did not see a viable way forward for the partnership. Hachette’s priority was figuring out how to make the company operate more efficiently. Kliger met with John over the next few weeks and told him that the current business plan was not working. “My point to John was if we might find a graceful way for us to part,” he shared in 2017. He made clear to John that parting ways did not mean shuttering the magazine. 

If they chose to end their association, Hachette would stick with him for a reasonable amount of time until John could find another partner. John took Kliger’s recommendations to heart and submitted a revised business proposal in June. “I thought it was a viable plan,” Kliger admitted. It called for cutting the number of pages in the magazine, producing fewer copies, and raising the newsstand price. However, Kliger never presented John’s modified business plan to the French executives because he still concluded that the partnership could not be rescued. There was not, he recalled, “much faith at Hachette in George.” Hachette, he pointed out, was a “bottom-line-driven company that didn’t really have as big a franchise in either news or lifestyle.” While John was picking up hints that Hachette was going to pull out of their partnership, he still retained a glimmer of hope.

Carolyn Bessette had not been said yes when John F. Kennedy Jr. first proposed to her. She didn't say no, either, but remarkably the 29-year-old Calvin Klein publicist wasn't yet sure that she was ready for what marrying a Kennedy would entail. That change of life would come with a host of perks but also a daunting amount of self-sacrifice, and the ruthless assault on her privacy. Carolyn had spent enough time at the Kennedy family compound in Hyannis Port to know the tensions behind the legend. And she wasn't bowled over by the Kennedys bond. Rather, the clannishness turned her off. Carolyn loved John, but in what would become a point of contention for the rest of their lives, she didn't particularly enjoy going to spend holidays and weekends with his sprawling family on the Cape, where their comings and goings were rather formally presided over by Ethel Kennedy, Robert F. Kennedy's widow. John Kennedy Jr. was the godfather of Robert Kennedy Jr's son William Finbar. Michael Bergin (Carolyn's ex-boyfriend) didn't help matters, almost coming to blows with John when he was seen stalking outside their Tribeca apartment. Allergic to the exposure and publicity, she became a reluctant fashion icon.

Carolyn was playing it cool, but she had fallen in love for the first time in her life. "I kept having to say, 'Snap out of it, John's just a guy," she confided the future Carole Radziwill (née DiFalco), who was about to marry John's cousin and best friend Anthony Radziwill in August 1994. "Carolyn was also worried her marriage to John would change everything," Terenzio wrote in Fairy Tale Interrupted. Carolyn had already moved into John's spacious loft at 20 North Moore St. in TriBeCa, and "Carolyn understood that the formality meant something to John. He was pretty old-fashioned, and given his place in the world, he couldn't be single forever." The prince of the fallen kingdom of Camelot did want a true partner by his side. He was worth approximately over 30 million when he married Carolyn in 1996. "When you were with them," Richard Bradley (author of the New York Times bestseller American Son: A Portrait of John F. Kennedy, Jr.) said, "you felt John had really put forth a new power couple in the family, like Jack and Jackie, Bobby and Ethel, Sarge and Eunice Shriver. John had always had a thing about the Kennedy power couples of the past, and this was how he viewed himself and Carolyn. I guess one could say that Carolyn was becoming the woman behind the man, and John was happy and proud. I think Jackie would have been as well."

And importantly for Carolyn, unlike so many of the men in his family, including his iconic father, John F. Kennedy Jr. aspired to take their marital vows seriously. According to historian Steven M. Gillon, Ann Freeman (Carolyn's mother) had openly questioned during her wedding toast whether John was the right man for her daughter. Anthony Radziwill tempered the awkwardness with his best man toast. "We all know why John would marry Carolyn," he said. "She is smart, beautiful and charming... What does she see in John? Well, some of the things that I guess might have attracted Carolyn to John are his caring, his charm, and his very big heart of gold." "Carolyn, more than anyone who John had been with, would stand up to him, and confront him, and I think that John to an extent needed that," Steven Gillon—a classmate of John's at Brown University who was later a contributing editor at George magazine—told InStyle in 2019. However, the rumor that John had roughed Carolyn in Washington Park on February 25, 1996, spread like wildfire, even ending up the topic of one of David Spade's "Hollywood Minute" segments on Saturday Night Live. 

"Why don't you stop hitting your girlfriend and pretending to run a magazine?" Spade quipped, deadpan. Gillon wrote in his 2019 book America's Reluctant Prince: The Life of John F. Kennedy Jr., "The cause of this infamous fight, and the many that followed, stemmed from Carolyn's ongoing complaint that John let people walk all over him." In the summer of 1996, shock host Howard Stern also used the fight in the park to ignite ratings in his show The Howard Stern Show. As many a Kennedy has noted over the years, not a single person has been born into the family—especially not the men—without eventually feeling the crushing weight of expectations and history upon them. 

"People keep telling me I can be a great man. I'd rather be a good one," John said, determined to forge his own path. According to Randy Taraborrelli, Ethel Kennedy told Carolyn, "I think you're more powerful than any of the other women John has dated. You know why? Because you're smart, and because you have heart. So don't let those reporters or photographers or anyone else change who you are in here." Also, before they got married, Carolyn had become increasingly involved with George, much to the consternation of John's partner, Michael Berman, who ended up selling his half of the magazine in 1997. On July 14, 1999, Richard Bradley remembered to Vanity Fair that he overheard John screaming at Carolyn on the phone through his office door. "In startling, staccato bursts of rage, John was yelling," Bradley said. "His yells would be followed by silences, then John's fury would resume. At first I could not make out the words. Then after a particularly long pause, I heard John shout, 'Well, goddamnit, Carolyn. You're the reason I was up at three o'clock last night!' The shouting lasted maybe five minutes, but John's office door stayed shut for some time." Christopher Andersen, author of The Day John Died (2007) refuted reports of discord between John Kennedy Jr and his wife Carolyn Bessette. "All this talk about them headed for a divorce was baloney," he says. "John Jr was an astoundingly moral and ethical person and he wanted this marriage to work." Andersen found no evidence to support rumors that Carolyn Bessette abused cocaine. "I've talked to people who knew that Carolyn was taking antidepressants, but there was no indication of drug abuse." 

Andersen adds: "John Kennedy Jr had a tremendous wit and native intelligence, and above all, he was a really nice guy. He was a gentleman, very considerate with the women of his life. Half of the romances concocted by the press were a bluff." "I'm a warts-and-all writer," Anderson reckons, "and I couldn't really find any warts in John's life. He was loved by everybody." Anderson is also the author of Barbra Streisand: The Way She Is, The Wild Life of Mick Jagger and American Evita: Hillary Clinton's Path to Power. There was dissension within the Kennedy family how best to honor John and his wife in the wake of the latest sick twist of fate to befall their cursed dynasty. Among conspiracy rumors, their ashes were placed in blue boxes and scattered off the coast of the Vineyard on July 22, 1999. Ted Kennedy, whose Chappaquidick scandal almost eclipsed his gigantic accomplishment as "the Lion of the Senate", had to grieve for four of their dead siblings, Mary Jo Kopechne, his family tragedies, and now the loss of his nephew John Jr. While working for The Cape Cod News in July 1969 covering Chappaquidick, journalist Leo Damore said to Ted: "Bobby Kennedy probably would have died trying to save Ms Kopechne." Ted Kennedy understood perfectly what must have felt to John Jr. to be compared with his father. So Ted delivered a beautiful eulogy at a memorial service held on July 23 at the Church of St. Thomas More on New York City's Upper East Side. "John was a devoted son and brother, and he was a husband who adored the wife who became his perfect soul mate," the senator, who died in 2009, said. "John's father taught us all to reach for the moon and the stars. John did that in all he did—and he found his shining star when he married Carolyn Bessette." Source: vanityfair.com

Maladaptive Daydreaming (MD) characterizes individuals who engage in vivid, fanciful daydreaming for hours on end, neglecting real-life relationships, resulting in clinical distress and functional impairment. Existing knowledge on MD suggests the involvement of dissociative and obsessive-compulsive symptoms, as well as comparable to processes in addiction disorders. Once mind-wandering is initiated, executive control is needed to ensure the continuity of a self-generated internal “train of thought”. Interestingly, mind-wandering without awareness is associated with a greater degree of  psychopathology. Singer and Rowe demonstrated decades ago that the frequency of daydreaming is associated with anxiety and depression. Constructs related to daydreaming are “absorption and imaginative involvement,” a dissociative tendency and involvement in fantasy. A 20 year-old diagnosed female student from the United States, described her daydreaming behavior: "Some daydreams involve people I know. Others don’t include me at all. These daydreams tend to be stories–for which I feel real emotion, usually happiness or sadness. They’re as important a part of my life; I can spend hours alone with my daydreams. I often feel as if I just cannot turn off my mind, whether because I need to concentrate in class, go to sleep, or just find some peace in the world outside my head. I'm careful to turn off my daydreams in public, so it's not evident that my mind is spinning these stories and I get lost in them. I can sustain normal relationships with friends, coworkers, and family, although I often neglect those relationships in favor of replaying or elaborating on my daydreams. I am torn between the love of my daydreams and the desire to be normal.” As opposed to normal daydreaming, which is usually neither immersive nor fanciful, the quality of daydreaming in MD represents an innate talent for vivid fantasy, defined as “a fictional tale created by a subject for his own pleasure and for no other purpose.”

Symptoms that are pathognomonic to MD and different than the characteristics of existing dissociative disorders, MD does indeed seem to contain several dissociative elements. Specifically: (a) detachment from external reality in favor of internal experience; (b) absorption—a state of total attention; and (c) via their daydreams, individuals may temporarily adopt alternative (non-self) identities (while acting out characters’ behaviors or dialogues in their minds). Additionally, some individuals have described the initiation of excessive daydreaming during childhood to avoid an intimidating or traumatic social environment. Possibly, engaging in daydreaming for several hours compromises the sense of presence in reality and brings about experiences of depersonalization and derealization. Moreover, in MD, not only is attention focused inwards, but it is focused on fantasized (thus, derealized) “characters,” performing activities and engaging in their own dialogues. Possibly, attending to mental imagery which is attributed to a non-self entity (i.e., a “character”), produces impairment in one’s normal sense of embodiment. Indeed, increased bodily sensations may be characteristic of intensified daydreams. In other words, MD may be instigated from an absorptive dissociative tendency to lose oneself in one’s imagination, while depersonalization-derealization may be merely a consequence of MD. It is also possible that MD does not stem from dissociation but is a type of dissociative symptom in itself. Source: www.frontiersin.org