WEIRDLAND: Joseph Gordon-Levitt: enjoying his vagueness

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Joseph Gordon-Levitt: enjoying his vagueness


L: I had a crush on JGL when he first appeared on “Third Rock from the Sun.” This is because JGL’s a tasty treat, even though he seems skinny, like I’d crush him if I gave him a hug or rode him reverse cowgirl. It’s a risk I’m willing to take, however. I like his whole face when he’s smiling and I would even accept him with short hair. His photo shoot with Claudia Schiffer was the photo shoot of my dirtiest dreams. And I’m blown away that he’s this fashion icon for GQ now—who knew? Let me shoop to the next man in the three-piece suit. I want to take him to my formal work functions and crumple his Armani in the women’s lounge with my burning passion.

PORTFOLIO: 3.5 [My personal note is 5]

I: He’s chosen odd projects! After Third Rock he kind of disappeared for a while and he was back in the game with “10 Things” which was cute! But I wonder if his lack of mainstream work is his conscious choice, or if Hollywood just doesn’t like him.
L: I see him in these odd movies like “Brick” and “Mysterious Skin” and I forget that he was in “10 Things I Hate About You.” I heard that this summer he’s coming out with some indie flick and “G.I. Joe” (he’s going to play the fucking Cobra Commander!), so I’m kind of relieved that he’s not above doing mainstream stuff—it makes him not seem snobby.

L: I enjoy his choices! However, the rumors that he’s friends with Evan Rachel Wood gross me out. But anyway, I like that he went to school for history and French poetry (?!?), which seems random, but he dropped out. He should go back and just finish it up. I’m digging his choice of movie roles—he’s striking up a good balance with me.

I: Does JGL seem out of touch with people our age? I can’t really imagine him hanging out with my friends. What would he have to offer a party? Is he even well-socialized enough to know to bring a dish and/or beverage? I don’t see him getting drunk and being wacky, I don’t see him livin’ it up with the bros and watching the game with Nick Lachey and M.McConaughey.

L: I would totally want JGL as my boyfriend! He’s good looking and smart, and worldly and sexy (judging by the aforementioned CS photo shoot), and he seems like he has a dry sense of humor that I would enjoy.I: I think he’s proper boyfriend material! I bet he would plan sexy, romantic dates and really think outside the box. I wonder what he’s like in the boudoir! We must put “find out what JGL is like in bed” on our To-Do. I hope he wouldn’t be whiny and insecure!L: I’m enjoying your vagueness. I like JGL just the way he is, a la Mark Darcy and Bridget Jones. I hope he continues with his balancing act—I want him to do a summer blockbuster and follow it up with an obscure indie flick. Additionally, I’d like to see him continue his well dressed GQ b&w photo shoots. I also advise that he prove to me that he’s not whiny and insecure".

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